The colors of Moth

While I was a little girl I used to go to my aunts place in Pune for summer, we used to have a great time there, going to those beautiful hill stations, the mesmerizing beauty of the setting sun. It was mine and my sister's favorite place to hang out. After one long day of barbecue and bathing in the warm basking sun, me and my sister went to sleep in the massive room next to terrace. I kept the night lamp on so that I could read the novel I had bought along.
While I had proceeded by just four pages of the latest Nancy Drew flick, my sister shrieked, making me throw the book three feet in the air, jumping on to my feet and shouting "what the hell is wrong with you goddammit?! Cant you just let me sleep in peace?" She just kept her eyes on the ceiling, so I looked up as well just to find a moth at the corner of the ceiling. I told her to go back to bed but she refused to shut her eyes, exasperated I called to my aunt who came running into my room, I told her how silly my 5 year old sister was acting and asked her to take her away so I could continue reading, instead my aunt decided to tell us a story I wasn't likely to forget for a very long time..
She told us that once, long long time ago the world had fallen apart, the sky broke warning, the angels were upset and they were crying which fell down on earth in the form of rain. This upset all the people on earth, specially the children and seeing this the butterflies were really upset, so to cheer them all up they decided to give a little bit of their color so that they could make a rainbow and please everyone, from heaven to earth. They all gave their color but the rainbow wasn't bright enough, they needed more colors.
They went to the peacocks, kingfishers, colorful fishes, animals, anyone.. everyone but they were all too self centered, too selfish to give away their colors .. even a little bit of it so all the butterflies gave away all their colors to make the beautiful rainbow, all of them except for brown, cuz somehow brown dint seem to fit in.
The angels and people were ecstatic, but the butterflies were now left with one color, brown, we now know them as moths, the new ones though still have their colors and they too give their colors to form rainbows, to keep us happy :)
Since, my sister hasn't been afraid of moths. And in a way, neither have I.

Mine, forever..

We parted slowly... She looked into his eyes and smiled. She could see his insides clamoring with happiness. The almond deep hazel eyes had so much emotion stored in them. The eyes were screaming “I love you...!’. He smiled… He was staring deeply in her eyes and trying to convey that how much he loved her… It was a desperate attempt of him, madly trying to show her that his eyes don’t lie. She smiled mischievously. She left his arms mysteriously and ran the other way. She looked back and smiled. She was beckoning him He was shocked. Then he started running behind her. The orange brittle leaves cracked under his weight. It looked like she was gliding. He kept calling her name. But she didn’t stop. She kept looking back and smiled. Her hair was covering her face. Amidst drizzling autumn leaves, he ran between the trees looking for her. He had lost sight of her when she took a turn behind a giant tree. There was a dead drop of more than thousand feet below him. He couldn’t see her. His face was troubled. He was tensed. He shouted her name. Thrice clear times. Then he ran behind the surrounding bushes. He called for her again. Only his echo and reverberation came to him. His feet crushing the tender leaves made sharp tense noise. He shouted thrice again. Screaming his lungs, he was wildly running around and pulling at his air. The night was already set. The twilight tinkled far away. But he didn’t tire. He still kept running all around the place. The height didn’t trouble him anymore. Then he stopped near the edge to catch his breath. He was immersed in anguish. And then suddenly there was light far below him. It rose rapidly. The intensity made him shield his eyes. He wasn’t afraid. He could never be afraid. It didn’t fit with him anyway. He looked through the wedge of his fingers. He could make out a figure. A woman. But there was something that confused him. He could see a set of large angel-like wings behind her. And then suddenly he smiled. He could se her face. He shook his head in tiredness and gestured with his hands. She smiled. There was a halo glowing behind her. He thought it was his imagination that he saw wild horse-carts gliding far behind her. They were filled with her kin. He was thinking hard. His face was impassive. They stared at each other for a long time. Her kin was playing music. It sounded like a mournful song. But it was comforting. They were reaching out in some alien language. She was still held in mid her. Nothing supported her. She was wearing a plain white gown, with a black scarf tied at her waist. She was still smiling. He stood still and looked at the scene. Then she glided in a parabolic path towards him. He stood still. She touched down lightly. The leaves rustled a bit. Her wings were glowing. The color was changing from white to gold. They were six feet apart. He could see a coronet on her head. And suddenly the smog in his mind lifted and all was clear. He blushed in gratitude and spread his arms lovingly. He waited. He knew what was happening. He knew it. And he hoped what he thought was right. The carts were darting above us. Their song was clear like a diamond. The biggest cart slowed on top of them. The elderly couple in it looked down. The woman was the exact copy of the woman standing in front of him. He took it all in. The woman in the cart dropped golden leaves from her hand. And the man dropped a silvery liquid. Gravity didn’t affect their motion. They came and stood at a standstill. Suddenly she was engulfed in a sphere of the liquid. She looked up and smiled and raised her hand. The couple in the cart raised theirs too. Their wings moved gently. The woman looked sad. The man was impassive…the cart moved, took one round around them, the couple were singing something with deep meaning. A kind of a mantra. The golden leaves were glowing above the man on the ground. He was still impassive. But his heart was running wild. He was looking straight at her. And suddenly their was a burst like a lightning. The Silver Sphere lifted from her. Her wings were in them. They were still and at exactly the same position when they were with her. The sphere went to the elderly couple. They took it in. Smiled down upon them and amidst glorious music the party took off to somewhere behind the moon…
She looked at him and smiled. He smiled. His arms were still raised. And she ran and came into them. He hugged her and lifted her off the ground. He was the happiest person in the world…
He kept her gently on the ground. She looked guilty and whispered sorry. He knew exactly what she had done. Exactly what she had sacrificed. And this even made him love so much more. After all, shredding immortality and The Guardianship wasn’t so easy…
Her actions had conveyed everything. No matter what came, she would always be his…
Always be Mine…Forever…

Note : This is written by Aman Jayne, NOT me. And yes, he is much more skilled at this than myself.

Love To Hate..?

You know at times your mind gets fuzzy, its filled with questions you cant answer, maybe you don't want to, maybe you don't believe in yourself, maybe its just fate. How many times I have come across people who are so unhappy with life that they are actually willing to end it, like that's the only option that's left. I mean take your own life cuz you think you cant go through another down. What do they expect? Life to be a bed of roses with no thorns? A sweet grape fruit with no seed? A pearl without the oyster?
Don't they have the hope that things will actually get better? Aren't they curious as to what the future holds for them? Don't they know how many people love them? You know what? They actually don't .. they are so blinded by their own sorrow, their own pain that they refuse to see the others who want to share it.
Easy to say how many people have back stabbed you, how many have broken your trust, how many have caused you pain. But what about those who were there for you even though you dint ask them to be? What about those who came to you with unconditional love and a faith to lend? Why is it so easy to not even acknowledge their presence?
You say you have been hurt .. what about those you hurt but they dint tell you cause they gave you another chance?
You say you have been back stabbed .. what about those who dint tell you but felt you did the same to them!?
You say you have been caged in a world full of self cent red people who don't care about how you feel .. what about those who have been trying to tell YOU how they feel but you ignored their silent prayers?
Its so easy to blame on others .. so easy to label yourself as depressed/unhappy/ loser just so that you don't have to look to find a new hope, just so that you have a reason to blame everything on.
But for once .. cant you just accept things the way they are? Cant you just forgive and forget? Cant you live and let live?
Why don't you feel the joy of laughing so hard that you cant breath instead of trying to take the breathe away when you cant see joy?
Why cant we conceal our pain with a smile and look on the brighter side?
Why cant we take the effort to replace the wrong with right?
Why cant we all just Take a risk, Take a chance, Make a change and breakaway..?

I'll surrender myself to you

Ill paint my mood in shades of blue
Paint my soul to be with you
Ill sketch your lips in shaded tones
Draw your mouth to my own

Ill draw your arms around my waist
Then all doubt I shall erase
Ill paint the rain that softly lands on your wind-blown hair

Ill trace a hand to wipe out your tears
A look to calm your fears
A silhouette of dark and light
While we hold each other oh so tight

Ill paint a sun to warm your heart
Swearing that well never part
Thats the colour of my love

Ill paint the truth
Show how I feel
Try to make you completely real
Ill use a brush so light and fine
To draw you close and make you mine

Ill paint a sun to warm your heart
Swearing that well never part
Thats the colour of my love

Ill draw the years all passing by
So much to learn so much to try

And with this ring our lives will start
Swearing that well never part
I offer what you cannot buy

Devoted love until we die

Beauty That Lies Within

I look at the world around me
At so much that lives to be seen
Feel what can not be felt and see what can not be seen
Delve to the depth of life to
Where beauty has always been

The beauty of the rain that lies hidden within
The smells, the chill, the song of the wind
The beauty of the blackest wolf lies
in its haunting howl
The magic of a tiger lives i
n the stealth of its prowl
The depth of the sea that
hides its treasures of wonder
Beauty that can be found
unlike any other

The grace of the beings of water that
destines beauty alone
The loveliest pearl hidden in the
ugliest oyster's womb
The beauty of the wind that
lies in its sway
the beauty of the natures smile
at the secrets she keeps at bay

The beauty of a smile that lies
in the melody of a laugh
The beauty of the soul that shines
through an ugly mark
The magic of love that is woven
between hearts
A tiny spark that can light up
an infinite dark
The beauty of innocence that lives in a child
The whispers of truth through a din of lies

The beauty of life's dedication and purpose
That can grow so bright from within an ugly surface
The legacy that lives in the beauty of a sacrifice
The beauty of courage to stand up for what is right

Life shows us in a million ways that in the depths
is where the most wonderful beauty is always kept
I could search and gaze in awe for all of eternity
And still be amazed at the beauty that lies beneath.

Freedom

I look at the bars of my cage desperately
wondering why the one inside is me
Pieces of metal are all that keep the world away
And yet it seems to be much more in so may ways

I tug at the chains that bind me so tight
No one seems to see my struggle, my pain, my fight
I am screaming so loud for someone to realize
But no one does - I'm blind to their eyes

So I am left, dreaming of the day I'll be free
The day when I can really say that I belong to me
The day when every breath I take will be mine
The day when I breath freedom, so pure and divine

When that day comes. I'll spread my wings and soar
Lift my sights to the sky and think nothing more
But until then I will dream and believe
Cuz that's the freedom no one can take away from me.

Death By Scrabble

It's a hot day and I hate my wife.
We're playing Scrabble. That's how bad it is. I'm 42 years old, it's a blistering hot Sunday afternoon and all I can think of to do with my life is to play Scrabble.

I should be out, doing exercise, spending money, meeting people. I don't think I've spoken to anyone except my wife since Thursday morning. On Thursday morning I spoke to the milkman.
My letters are crap.

I play, appropriately, BEGIN. With the N on the little pink star. Twenty-two points.

I watch my wife's smug expression as she rearranges her letters. Clack, clack, clack. I hate her. If she wasn't around, I'd be doing something interesting right now. I'd be climbing Mount Kilimanjaro. I'd be starring in the latest Hollywood blockbuster. I'd be sailing the Vendee Globe on a 60-foot clipper called the New Horizons - I don't know, but I'd be doing something.

She plays JINXED, with the J on a double-letter score. 30 points. She's beating me already. Maybe I should kill her.

If only I had a D, then I could play MURDER. That would be a sign. That would be permission.
I start chewing on my U. It's a bad habit, I know. All the letters are frayed. I play WARMER for 22 points, mainly so I can keep chewing on my U.

As I'm picking new letters from the bag, I find myself thinking - the letters will tell me what to do. If they spell out KILL, or STAB, or her name, or anything, I'll do it right now. I'll finish her off.

My rack spells MIHZPA. Plus the U in my mouth. Damn.

The heat of the sun is pushing at me through the window. I can hear buzzing insects outside. I hope they're not bees. My cousin Harold swallowed a bee when he was nine, his throat swelled up and he died. I hope that if they are bees, they fly into my wife's throat.

She plays SWEATIER, using all her letters. 24 points plus a 50 point bonus. If it wasn't too hot to move I would strangle her right now.

I am getting sweatier. It needs to rain, to clear the air. As soon as that thought crosses my mind, I find a good word. HUMID on a double-word score, using the D of JINXED. The U makes a little splash of saliva when I put it down. Another 22 points. I hope she has lousy letters.

She tells me she has lousy letters. For some reason, I hate her more.

She plays FAN, with the F on a double-letter, and gets up to fill the kettle and turn on the air conditioning.

It's the hottest day for ten years and my wife is turning on the kettle. This is why I hate my wife. I play ZAPS, with the Z doubled, and she gets a static shock off the air conditioning unit. I find this remarkably satisfying.

She sits back down with a heavy sigh and starts fiddling with her letters again. Clack clack. Clack clack. I feel a terrible rage build up inside me. Some inner poison slowly spreading through my limbs, and when it gets to my fingertips I am going to jump out of my chair, spilling the Scrabble tiles over the floor, and I am going to start hitting her again and again and again. The rage gets to my fingertips and passes. My heart is beating. I'm sweating. I think my face actually twitches. Then I sigh, deeply, and sit back into my chair. The kettle starts whistling. As the whistle builds it makes me feel hotter.

She plays READY on a double-word for 18 points, then goes to pour herself a cup of tea. No I do not want one.

I steal a blank tile from the letter bag when she's not looking, and throw back a V from my rack. She gives me a suspicious look. She sits back down with her cup of tea, making a cup-ring on the table, as I play an 8-letter word: CHEATING, using the A of READY. 64 points, including the 50-point bonus, which means I'm beating her now.

She asks me if I cheated.

I really, really hate her.

She plays IGNORE on the triple-word for 21 points. The score is 153 to her, 155 to me.

The steam rising from her cup of tea makes me feel hotter. I try to make murderous words with the letters on my rack, but the best I can do is SLEEP.

My wife sleeps all the time. She slept through an argument our next-door neighbours had that resulted in a broken door, a smashed TV and a Teletubby Lala doll with all the stuffing coming out. And then she bitched at me for being moody the next day from lack of sleep.

If only there was some way for me to get rid of her.

I spot a chance to use all my letters. EXPLODES, using the X of JINXED. 72 points. That'll show her.

As I put the last letter down, there is a deafening bang and the air conditioning unit fails.

My heart is racing, but not from the shock of the bang. I don't believe it - but it can't be a coincidence. The letters made it happen. I played the word EXPLODES, and it happened - the air conditioning unit exploded. And before, I played the word CHEATING when I cheated. And ZAP when my wife got the electric shock. The words are coming true. The letters are choosing their future. The whole game is - JINXED.

My wife plays SIGN, with the N on a triple-letter, for 10 points.

I have to test this.

I have to play something and see if it happens. Something unlikely, to prove that the letters are making it happen. My rack is ABQYFWE. That doesn't leave me with a lot of options. I start frantically chewing on the B.

I play FLY, using the L of EXPLODES. I sit back in my chair and close my eyes, waiting for the sensation of rising up from my chair. Waiting to fly.

Stupid. I open my eyes, and there's a fly. An insect, buzzing around above the Scrabble board, surfing the thermals from the tepid cup of tea. That proves nothing. The fly could have been there anyway.

I need to play something unambiguous. Something that cannot be misinterpreted. Something absolute and final. Something terminal. Something murderous.

My wife plays CAUTION, using a blank tile for the N. 18 points.

My rack is AQWEUK, plus the B in my mouth. I am awed by the power of the letters, and frustrated that I cannot wield it. Maybe I should cheat again, and pick out the letters I need to spell SLASH or SLAY.

Then it hits me. The perfect word. A powerful, dangerous, terrible word.

I play QUAKE for 19 points.

I wonder if the strength of the quake will be proportionate to how many points it scored. I can feel the trembling energy of potential in my veins. I am commanding fate. I am manipulating destiny.

My wife plays DEATH for 34 points, just as the room starts to shake. I gasp with surprise and vindication - and the B that I was chewing on gets lodged in my throat. I try to cough. My face goes red, then blue. My throat swells. I draw blood clawing at my neck. The earthquake builds to a climax.

I fall to the floor. My wife just sits there, watching.

A walk on the safer side.

Why I did it? I don't know..
But I knew all along that I shouldn't be doing it..
I think that's why I did it.
Yeah that happens all too often with me. I always end up doing what I am forbidden to, why do I always want to do things I am not allowed to? Or do we choose to do things that we shouldn't.. Maybe that's where the adrenaline kicks in.
I have never been a big fan of "obedience" neither am I one of those who can manage to give a teacher 75+ % of their attention. Maybe if I am at my best I'd give in to 20 or if I just got my marks card, a 50. But that's my best..! You know what!? I am not even guilty..!
But this time was ought to be different right? Come on.. I actually chose to sit on the 1st bench.. I chose to hand over my cell to my teacher so that I don't keep my fingers busy all the time.. I chose to shun my needy friends in the last bench..!
No no..! I am going to do it this time! (Yeah right..) Lets hope for the best..!
In the mean time I live in the moment.. Live for all I have .. Live for all I need to make it "the" time of my life..!
The fact that I don't believe in a future and definitely live for the present actually has nothing to do with my choices
I might regret em later but I still get to make em right? And I make em only after I think them through and have something in mind.. Right? ... Maybe not.!
That's probably what I thought when I agreed to rush to CCD (Cafe Coffee Day) with three of my friends. Two guys, one girl. Two pervs, one on the way.
All of us were as close to broke as someone who enters CCD to hog gets. Yeah I had 200 bucks that morning, but thanks to my "friends" I was left with what, 60 bucks? And hello!? Who was going to pay for the rick? Santa's little helper? The friend who dragged us there had 40 bucks kept for her chocolate fantasy + Rs 2 kept aside for the tip in order to not look cheap (No comments). So we caught an auto and on account of being the smallest (don't compare me to them, they are HUGE) I was made to sit on the lap of my best friends boy friend. I guess it could get worse. (What if I had to have him sit on me? *Sigh*) I contributed to the fare of the rick too. Now I was closer to brokism.
We entered the place with a victorious smile on our faces. Showing off our outgoing spirit in our not so neat uniform.
Yeah.. All eyes were on us.
We got our self a corner..
The two declared their mutual agreement to share a chocolate fantasy. The rest of us shared a look of understanding and stepped out only to go to "Polar bear" , a more affordable place I would say. We checked out the rates and eventually read what they belonged to. With one scoop of rich chocolate in my hand and a spoonful of vanilla with chocolate chip in mouth I stepped out with him, cracking a PJ or two (Maybe they weren't meant to be so bad, he blames it on the weather which happened to be quite pleasant indeed.. cool breeze). We stepped into the same warm cafe again and moved towards our original spot where the others warmed their bottoms.. Before I could take a small bite of the remaining 1/16th of the chocolate fantasy (Not before the glare I got from the other two) the waiter stepped into to make it official. "No outside item allowed inside". Trying to keep the embarrassment off our face with dignified look we (me and him) stepped out, again, probably if we laughed over it it would make us feel better? Yeah right..!
Sure though the other two did come out in the cold to share our sorrow, yeah they enjoyed our ice cream as well. With a proud smile they walked back in.
So after freezing for half an hour we decided to go back home, parents aren't all that friendly anymore.
Ha! At least they were nice enough to offer a ride home, but ride? That was the problem.
Did I mention the soothing, romantic, perfect weather? Yeah it doesn't seem all that perfect when you have to walk back home 5km in the pouring rain. And when it is with "the" perv it isn't all that romantic either. With our arms crossed in front of our chest we walked down the wide road surrounded with dense trees.
With a laugh or two I managed to get them to walk round near my place. Now what!?
I have no idea how long it took for them to catch a rick back home. They dint live as close-by as I thought they did after all.
Dint the teachers always ask him to wear a vest anyway?! Ash said that helps you keep warm in the rain, to me the undershirt beneath my white soaking shirt was just another wet cloth I had to put for wash. They always said a hairdryer can be used for more than one purpose, now I know.